Over the years of trying to get a coach, and losing the few I’ve had, I came to the conclusion that even though a lot of the coaches I came across were pretty high level. None of them could coach me as I was at a higher level then their ability to teach.
A good coach/teacher is able to adapt their methods to the student they are trying to coach/teach.
Sitting in the lobby on the benches getting ready to skate, I hear a coach talking to I presume the parents of a child who was skating about their availability to do lessons. They said they were at the rink almost everyday and had slots of time available between 12 and 2.
I head out to the rink and work on my list of elements and make mental notes as I see them out coaching others.
When the session is up I head back to the lobby and get ready to head out. The coach I saw earlier is talking over things with the parents and lessons and they pack up and leave. The coach was still there so I approach them about getting some lessons as earlier they had said they had slots available. The answer I received when I asked was “I’m fully booked at every rink at the moment.”
Of course this is an answer I pretty much expected as I get the same thing when calling coaches that post their services on the board with the phone number tags, remember those? I’ll call and chat with them, typically they think I’m asking for my child. I tell them that it’s for myself and they ask what I’m working on, what times, etc etc. Once I give my name however, that’s usually the end of the conversation with a click. Some people ask for my name right upfront, as I’m guessing they were already leery, so not really a surprise to get a no and/or click.
Pretty much every coach I’ve talked to or called, said no once they knew my name.
I was skating at a public session at a rink I had not skated at before, not sure why I went there as it’s not close, but most likely it was a timing/free time issue.
So I did some warmups and got into my routine with practice elements and I noticed an older lady struggling with doing 3 turns. I stopped over and offer her a few tips like trying to go on the ball of your foot, toes to the top, lift your hip, pre-load your torso, etc etc. I watched for a bit, then went off to my own thing, I think I stopped by once or twice after to help in the progress and she was starting to get the hang of it. (I know how it is, it took me forever to figure it out, and once I did, I was so ecstatic!)
When the session ended, I was on the benches taking my skates off and such and she approached me and thanked me for the insights. Then she made a comment that she was scared in ever meeting me, but then said she was happy to have met me in person.
I wish I remembered her name, I’ve only seen her again once or twice afterwards.
I ponder however in what she had heard in that it seems that she feared meeting me in person?
One day, of which I don’t remember the exact flow of the morning, I had stopped at the rink before heading to the rec center for water aerobics. At the rink there were a couple people practicing, not sure what ice time it was, possibly club ice.
I was just sitting in the bleachers relaxing and watching for a while when the mom of one of daughters I’ve skated with during the public ice sat next to me (or did I see her and move next to her? I’m not sure). We talked a little bit and she mentioned that the other lady that had been sitting with her thought it was strange for an adult man, who was by himself, to be watching little girls skate. She told me that she told the lady, “Oh, that’s Steven, he’s more interested in the dress then the girl in the dress”.
I don’t remember much past that as the remark had made such an impression on me.
I can’t deny that I have a fascination of dresses and skirts, but I also enjoy skating for the complexity it has, the moves, spins, footwork, etc etc. Figure skating is much more of a personal ownership sport and I enjoy the emotions I see in the skaters, and what I feel in myself.
I was attending an advanced adult learn to skate at a rink when a little girl approached me and asked if I could tie her laces.
I told her that I shouldn’t, of which she pondered why? I told her I was sorry, but people may take it the wrong way if I tie your skates. Again she pondered as to why, it took many times saying sorry from me before I had finished tying mine and had her seek help from someone else.
I later became really annoyed with myself, such a simple request and task, yet if I were to do it, someone may have thought I had an ulterior motive and cause all kind of drama that was nether warranted nor necessary.
If she had told her story to someone, they may have come across all kinds of ideas as to why I didn’t oblige to her request. And heaven forbid if she had mentioned I was wearing a dress.
Indeed children are innocent as she had no idea as to why a grown man who looked more then capable of tying her laces refused to do so. One day unfortunately, she will understand one way or the other, as to why that man feared tying her laces that day.